Nothing Left To Lose
by dwkc0207
Summary: One Shot set after "The Transfer". Derek finally discloses his feelings to Karen and the reasoning behind his actions over the past couple weeks, hoping she'll see him in a different light. Short and sweet


**A/N: One shot! Set after "The Transfer"! This is what I think Derek should do to get Karen back. R & R! **

Derek was walking to Karen's apartment with a very specific goal in mind. It was late, but he didn't care. The past week had been out of control with Kyle's death, threats from Daisy, kissing Karen. God kissing Karen, even with everything going on he couldn't help reliving that moment over and over in his head. The way she looked at him, the way her body felt underneath him, her soft lips and intense gaze. How they stopped themselves he wasn't sure. Maybe they didn't want the first time to be alcohol induced or whatever, but it doesn't even matter.

Today's conversation with Karen had been horrible. He came clean with his story about Daisy and she called him _disgusting_. He tried to explain it was because he was upset but Karen wouldn't listen to anything after his confession. But Karen didn't know that she was the reason he was upset or before Karen 'rejected' him that he hadn't slept with anyone since Rebecca. He had tried so hard to make Karen see that he had changed, but she couldn't see it with drama filled Jimmy in front of her face all the time.

Derek had come to the conclusion that lack of communication was the main reason he wasn't with Karen at this very moment. A bunch of misunderstandings and miscommunication was why they weren't together. He knows the connection is there, the physical attraction is obviously there. He wouldn't let her go without a fight. He had finally woken up and realized he needed to put it all out there so everything would be crystal clear. He would regret it forever if he didn't. That's why he was headed to her apartment. He was gonna sit her down and explain everything beginning to end because at this point, he had nothing else to lose.

He rang her door and Ana answered. "Hey it's Derek, is Karen there?"

"Uh yeah she is but why would I let you into my apartment." Ana responded bitterly.

"Look Ana I'm an idiot ok. I'm sorry. Can I please just come in?" Derek asked.

She buzzed him up and unlocked the door, but disappeared to her room. She didn't want to see Derek at all after he gave her part away to Daisy. She didn't care if that bitch was blackmailing him.

Derek walked in and knocked softly on Karen's bedroom door.

"Yeah whats up?" Karen said. She obviously thought it was Ana.

He pushed open the door and Karen looked up at him "Derek what the hell are you doing here? It's 1 in the morning?" Karen got up from her bed taking a defensive stance.

"Look Karen, I just need to talk to you ok. I need to tell you everything from beginning to end. Please just hear me out on what I have to say because if I don't tell you, I'm gonna go crazy. I just want to be completely honest with you and see what you think. Please?" Derek said, a hint of desperation in his voice because at this point he was a little desperate. Ok, a lot desperate.

"Ok Derek." Karen said. She seemed at bit surprised, but the fact she was willing to listen to him was half the battle. She sat on her bad and she sat next to her. Now he just had to lay his feelings out on the table, which is a whole other battle entirely.

"Look Karen, you know me. It's not easy for me to be open, so this is a rare occurrence, but I want you to know everything because this is my last shot. I don't like explaining myself to people, but my actions need explanation so you can know the real me." Derek said flat out.

"Ok, I'm listening." Karen said.

So Derek put it all out there. He explained to Karen how much he cared for her, that he hadn't felt these type of emotions in a very long time. After Rebecca, he had stopped sleeping around and completely focused on her. He told Karen how much he thought about her and admired her talent and said he wish he would've said all of this instead of just saying 'I care about you' a couple of weeks ago. Derek told her that he felt like he could really love her.

He continued on saying that when Karen chose Jimmy over him, he was shattered. Heartbroken really. He didn't like failure. He was lost and couldn't deal with the heartbreak and pain so he ran to Ivy. It was a temporary distraction, but he was still hurting. After the Bombshell premier, seeing her and Ivy sing together was great. Then Ivy ignored him and he was just so confused and upset about everything and Daisy was just there, so he slept with her. It was all stupid, he admitted. And all of this could've been avoided if he had made it more obvious to her how he felt earlier, but it's not easy for him to express emotions like that, especially when he hadn't had them in so long. And that's pretty much it. He can't stand seeing her with Jimmy and knows he is no good for her. The only reason he ever slept with Ivy or Daisy was to try and get over her, but none of it worked, he continued. He told her when she kissed him it all came rushing back, it was like a dream come true, but he knew he had to have this conversation before anything else happened.

"So that's it Karen. That's why all of this crap happened. It's shitty and I'm shitty but that's it. No one has ever made me as crazy as you have. I need you to know that I can be different with you. I can treat you right and be a great guy for you, I know it. I just needed to tell you all this before you wrote me off completely" Derek said, exhaling deeply. He had been looking down at the ground for most of his confession because he would lose his train of thought if he made eye contact with Karen or saw her facial expressions. It felt great to say all that, but now he was nervous about how she would respond.

The silence seemed to go on forever. He felt Karen's hand cup his cheek and turn his face toward hers. She took his face in both of her hands and looked him in the eye. The look on Karen's face was intense and sympathetic with a hint of something else. Maybe love?

Without a word she pulled him in for a kiss. Her soft lips moved gently against his, soaking up all the emotion he had just let out. Derek exhaled with relief and kissed her back with everything he had. This kiss was even better than the first one, which he didn't think was possible. Their lips moved naturally together and their tongues met, deepening the kiss. Derek swore that if the world ended right now, he would be ok with it.

After a moment, Karen pulled away, "Derek, I had no idea about any of that. It changes a lot. Thank you for being honest, it means so much to me. This was the last thing I was expecting to hear from you."

"I'm sorry it took so long. I suck at the emotions part. I hate admitting I'm vulnerable." Derek said.

"I'm sorry too, but better late than never. So what now? Where do we go from here?" Karen asked.

"Well I think that is up to you to decide." Derek said, looking at Karen expectantly.

Karen pushed him back on the bed and kissed him hard. She was done with talking for tonight. They could sort everything out tomorrow, whatever this was going to be.


End file.
